Rockstar!
by Shanaiza
Summary: One shot! Naraku is a pervert, Inuyasha and the gang sing Rockstar by Nickelback! R&R Please and Thanks!


Naraku stared at the hot pieces of human, half-demon, and mini demon from the confines of a nearby bush, and nearly lost his balance, getting lost in some of his fantasies (Don't worry, we won't be touching on that, even with the Tetsuiga.). Suddenly, he felt an urge. A strong urge. He didn't know what was controlling him, but it forced him to…

"Hit that note inna di middle, play with it a little." He sang, leaping from the bushes to his prey. Standing in front of Shippo, he gave him a wink and, what he thought, was a suggestive shimmy before sauntering over to Miroku and tugging on his monk robes to pull him closer and then proceeded to drop it like it was hot.

"Oh God," Miroku whimpered, "Why me?"

"Kagome, help me PLEASE!" Shippo cried from the fetal position on the ground.

Naraku ignored them, and appeared behind Inuyasha. He then began to lewdly thrust his hips to the beat only he could hear.

"Whoop, Whoop, when you run come along, Cuz you know you're the talk of the town yeah!"

Inuyasha's eyes started to twitch rhythmically as he slowly removed the Tetsuiga from its sheath.

"IRON REAPER SOUL STEALER!"

As the dust settled, they were all disappointed to see that there was no beaten, bloody, or mangled body for them to dance upon.

"Dammit! I'm scarred for life!" Inuyasha growled angrily, eyes still twitching.

"You? Poor Shippo's eyes are still glazed over and he won't move." Kagome said, trying to shake Shippo out of his daze. "I don't any of us are going to want to keep moving tonight, let's make camp here."

Nobody disagreed with her, Inuyasha too caught up in murderous thoughts, and Sango was comforting a distraught Miroku who kept muttering, "He already has my hands, now he wants my body! When will it end?"

Kagome put a blanket over the catatonic demon, set up her sleeping bag and, after all of the perverted excitement, fell fast asleep.

DREAM

Miroku stood at the door to the bar, waiting to be let in by the bouncer, when three old, smelly men came up and were let in without comment. He sighed heavily, and walked away dejected.

"I'm through with standing in line

To bars I'll never get in

It's like the bottom of the ninth

And I'm never gonna win

This life hasn't turned out

Quite the way I want it to be"

"Tell me what you want." Kaede sang lowly from a darkened bench with a newspaper covering her face.

Miroku looked around himself, and not finding the person who had just cut in continued to walk and sing.

"I want a brand new shack

On an episode of Cribs

And a bathroom I can kill demons in

And a king's hot spring big enough 

For twenty plus me

"Yeah, so what you need." Kaede sang again from a nearby tree branch.

By now, Miroku knew that someone was following him, and began to run home. Kaede sighed, and tried to find someone else to stalk…

Kagome and Sango walked around the village, looking at all the beautiful clothing that they couldn't afford. After about an hour of this depression, they grabbed their donkey and headed home. Kagome sighed, and subconsciously started singing.

"I'll need a credit card that's got no limit

And a big black jet with a bedroom in it

Gonna join the mile high club

At thirty-seven thousand feet"

"Been there, done that." Kaede said passing by, dreamily walking by reminiscing and not noticing the disgusted looks she got.

"I want a new tour bus full of old guitars

My own star on Hollywood Boulevard

Somewhere between Ayumi and X-Japan 

Is fine for me"

"So how you gonna do it?" Kaede asked. She didn't want her best donkey to be part of any kind of criminal activity that these two might get up to. Sango cut in, saving Kagome from the old lady's suspicion.

"I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame

I'd even cut my hair and change my name"

Just as she was about to continue, Kouga jumped down from a nearby branch and cut in, earning himself a dirty glare from Sango.

"Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars

And live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars

The girls come easy and the shards come cheap

We'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars 

In the VIP with the movie stars

Every good grave diggers gonna wind up there

Every Shinto priestess with her jet-black hair

And well,

Hey, hey I wanna be a rock star 

Hey, hey I wanna be a rock star"

They had finally reached their house, and once Inuyasha saw Kouga leering at Kagome once again, it set off an epic battle. Seeing that Inuyasha was distracted, Shippo began to sing his true feelings, glaring at Inuyasha the whole while.

"I wanna be great like Sesshy without the tassels

Hire eight bodyguards who love to beat up assholes

Sign a couple autographs so I can eat my meals for free

I'll have a cheesy ramen haha!"

Unfortunately for Shippo, Inuyasha got rid of Kouga quickly and had heard him singing and pounced on him as soon as he finished singing.

Overhead, Sesshoumaru and Jaken were flying on Uhn and Ahn when Jaken caught the same bug that seemed to be infecting the rest of the village.

"I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion

Get a front door key to Kikyo's mansion

Gonna date a demon who loves to blow Master's money for me"

Sesshoumaru sighed heavily before nonchalantly throwing Jaken off, leaving him to fall to his death, and flying away.

Meanwhile, Sango saw her opportunity to finally get her big chance to prove she was a star and once again began to sing.

"I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame

I'd even cut my hair and change my name"

However, Miroku had just arrived in time to cut in on Sango and sang the chorus not knowing the danger hew was in.

"Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars 

Live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars

The girls come easy and the shards come cheap

We'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars 

In the VIP with the movie stars

Every good grave diggers gonna wind up there

Every Shinto priestess with her jet-black hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms

With the latest dictionary and Today's who's who

They'll get you anything with that evil smile

Everybody's got a weapons maker on speed dial

Well, hey, hey I wanna be a rock star"

Sango let out a fierce battle cry and began to beat the poor monk within an inch of his life. Finally, she stopped, took a rest and began again.

"I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the peasants

Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser

Get washed up singers writing all my songs

Lip synch 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong"

Inuyasha knew that his favorite part was coming up again and this was his last chance to sing it.

" Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars 

Live in hilltop houses, driving fifteen cars

The girls come easy and the shards come cheap

We'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars 

In the VIP with the movie stars

Every good grave diggers gonna wind up there

Every Shinto priestess with her jet-black hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms

With the latest dictionary and Today's who's who

They'll get you anything with that evil smile

Everybody's got a weapons maker on speed dial"

Kagome got annoyed at Inuyasha singing about Kikyo and gave him a "SIT BOY!" Sango took this opportunity to beat Inuyasha until he was unconscious too, then both she and Kagome sang the end.

"Well, hey, hey I wanna be a rock star

Hey, hey I wanna be a rock star!"


End file.
